Apparently there is some sort of grotesque birth scene that will not be making the cut of the new Twilight movie. I'm sure it wouldn't make the thing more unwatchable than it surely already will be.
Great idea, though. In fact, I humbly propose a moratorium on birth scenes in general. We get it, already.
Alternatively, I propose one stock birthing scene, to be inserted at will in any film or TV episode.
Mom: [grunting, close up on sweaty face]
Doctor/Significant Other/Good Samaritan Bystander: OK, I need you to PUSH now!
Mom: [moaning in pain] I can't do it!
Doctor/Significant Other/Good Samaritan Bystander: You can do it! Now PUSH!
Mom: [grunting and/or screaming]
Doctor/Significant Other/Good Samaritan Bystander: It's coming! I can see it!...It's a [boy/girl]!
Mom: [panting in exhaustion]
And scene. Seriously, how many of these things are this exact sequence over and over? If you're not going to do anything new, what's the point?
Same goes for battle/war scenes.
[Shoot shoot shoot]
[Explosion]
[Extras getting shot]
[Run run run]
[Shoot Shoot Shoot]
[Explosion]
Childbirth and war are very dramatic things, I realize. So hopefully it will be easy to find new ways to tackle them on-screen, before we're all drama-ed right to sleep.
2 comments :
Let's make things even more efficient by combining one stock birthing scene with some explosions and rifle fire for use in either situation.
Love the ruthless efficiency, SB7. Have you considered working for our Spanish Inquisition branch?
Post a Comment