Super Bowl Ads vs. the Man-cession?

Let's get this out of the way: that was the weakest bunch of Super Bowl ads in recent memory. When Budweiser buys what seemed like half the slots, you're probably in for a hefty dose of juvenile idiocy (interspersed with some faux-inspirational Americana, if you prefer Bud Heavy), but this year's crop didn't stop there, really going above and beyond in the lameness department.

It would take more time and patience than I currently possess to lambast each offending ad individually. Let me just issue a quick blanket reprimand to some of the worst offenders.

1. "Instead of making a funny video that people will want to pass around the internet, let's remind people of OTHER funny videos they've seen on the internet!"

It seems like the ultimate goal of every ad these days is to "go viral". Vizio chooses to inject itself with dose after dose of live virus, in hopes that it will catch.



2. Alcoholism! Infidelity! Babies! Wait, what?



3. I could go on and on, but let's get down to brass tacks. The impromptu "theme" of this year's ads seemed to be Reclaiming Masculinity. OK. Fine. What does that mean, Madison Avenue? What should I aspire to?


Nonsensicality.


Illiteracy.


Passive-aggressive acting out.

Why so defensive of our precious manhood, Super Bowl ads?

Forbes.com: In This Recession, Men Drop Out
NY Times: More Men Are Losing Jobs
The Atlantic: It's Not Just A Recession, It's a Man-Cession

Oh. I see. We could deal with it when women shot past us in college graduation rates (education is for sissies, anyway). And the occasional woman household breadwinner was a fun curiosity, but no big deal. But now? Now that the tide has turned so much that women could potentially drive our country's future economy? Run our businesses? Make our innovations? Our decisions? What should I do, Super Bowl?



I see. Thanks for your input.

On a lighter note: The Who was once an electric, subversive, vital slice of pop culture. Watching those two old guys flail around out there was like if Boomer Esiason and Dan Marino laced up the cleats and took over for Brees and Manning at halftime. Sure, they could still throw a spiral, but what's the point, really? What's the equivalent of becoming a commentator for rock stars? Why do so few musical acts continue to put out engaging and relevant material as they age? Wouldn't more life experience make for a greater wealth of songwriting material? What would these guys have thought of the halftime show?